For the latest issue of The Independent magazine, OGR caught up with Patricia Longworth from John J. Ferry & Sons Funeral Home in Meriden, Connecticut, to talk about her career, the latest trends in funeral service, and much more. OGR members can read full versions of previous magazine editions in the OGR Digital Magazine Archive.
What is your official job title and age?
Funeral Director/Embalmer, 31.
How many years have you worked in funeral service?
I have been at my funeral home for five years, but I received my license in 2023.
Why did you begin working in funeral service?
This is the number one question I get when someone finds out what I do for work, and honestly, I still don’t have a perfect answer for it. I’ve always had an interest in the macabre, which I feel is almost an unofficial prerequisite for becoming an embalmer. But beyond that, the internal workings of the human body have always fascinated me. I’ve always wanted to understand how everything works beneath the surface.
Obviously, we can’t truly see the “information highway” between the brain and the rest of the body, but through helping with a few autopsies, I’ve had the opportunity to see the brain itself. Knowing how much something that fits in the palm of your hand controls is incredible.
At the same time, I realized that science alone wasn’t enough for me. I’ve always been good with people and have always wanted to help them, and there is no more genuine moment to help someone than when they are grieving. Families are trusting you with someone who means the world to them, and so much of what we do happens behind closed doors. That trust is something I take very seriously. That combination of curiosity, compassion, and the desire to help people during the hardest moments of their lives ultimately steered me into this profession.
What is the most rewarding part of your occupation?
There is always a moment of relief at the end of my time with a family. It might be after the casket or urn is placed in the ground, or when a family leaves the funeral home for the last time. The relief isn’t for me — it’s for them.
You can actually see the moment when their shoulders finally drop. Throughout the entire process they are grieving, but they are also dealing with all the responsibilities that come with planning a funeral, and it naturally keeps them on edge. When everything is finished, they finally get to take a full breath.
Then they usually turn to you and express their gratitude, because you helped guide them through something they never wanted to face. They often tell me they don’t know how they would have gotten through it without me, and that they felt supported the entire way. Knowing I was able to help them do right by their loved one is the most rewarding part of what I do.
What are your professional goals?
I like to stay involved in the profession beyond just my day-to-day work. I enjoy being part of a funeral home that is active in organizations like OGR and the CFDA. I’m always looking for opportunities to learn more, meet others in the profession, and expand my perspective.
Right now I’m focused on continuing to build my foundation as a funeral director and really refining my skills. In the future, I would love the opportunity to travel, educate, and help teach the next generation of funeral directors.
What are you proud of that you have achieved so far during your career in funeral service?
I feel like my career is still in its early stages, and there is a lot more I hope to accomplish. During school I received the Excellence in Clinical Fieldwork Award, which meant a lot to me.
On a more personal level, I’m proud that I set goals for myself and have been able to achieve them. I wanted to go to school and become a funeral director, and I graduated at the top of my class. I wanted to become a skilled embalmer who could work through challenging cases, and so far I’ve been able to do that. I wanted to become the kind of funeral director families call the funeral home and ask for by name, and I’ve reached that point as well. I’ve never been more proud of myself.
What are some important/notable trends that you have noticed in funeral service?
The most obvious trend is the continued growth of cremation. More specifically, I’ve noticed how funeral homes are adapting to better serve families who choose cremation. That includes offering more personalized options for memorial services, a wider selection of urns and merchandise, and finding ways to make cremation services just as meaningful as traditional services.
Another big trend has been education through social media. Funeral homes are using platforms to explain the process, answer questions, and make funeral service less mysterious to the public. It’s something our funeral home has really embraced.
What benefits have you received from being involved with OGR Future Leaders? What would you say to others who are uncertain about getting involved with this group?
I’ve had the opportunity to attend several Future Leaders forums and meet funeral directors from all over the country. The conversations alone have been incredibly valuable. We talk about how each of us handles cases, the different techniques we use, and the products we rely on.
It gives me the chance to learn new ideas and bring those back to my funeral home to apply in my own work. For anyone who is uncertain about joining, I would say it is a great opportunity to connect with people who understand exactly what this profession involves and who genuinely want to help each other grow.
How do you spend your time outside of work? Is there anything in particular that you enjoy doing?
I love to camp. My husband and I purchased a Class A motorhome last year and spent the entire summer traveling in it. We specifically chose that model so we could bring our two cats along with us, which makes it perfect for longer trips.
Over the course of a few months we put about 4,000 miles on it. One of our trips was even to a Future Leaders forum — we drove to a campground in Michigan that was only about five minutes from the funeral home hosting the event, which worked out perfectly.
What are three personal goals you have?
My biggest goal is always to continue learning. There is always something new to experience or teach yourself in this profession.
I would also like to expand my role in the industry beyond just funeral home work someday.
And above all else, my goal is to never let down a single family that I serve.
Who or what inspires you?
Honestly, I find a lot of inspiration in young widows. I know that may sound unusual, but I can’t imagine being in their position and having to bury my husband at my age — or at any age.
Watching them walk into the funeral home, make the decisions they need to make, and walk into the chapel to say goodbye while still trying to stay strong for their families is incredible. Their strength and courage are something I’m always in awe of. Moments like that remind me exactly why I do the work that I do.
What is one thing that you believe your peers would be surprised to know about you?
I’m honestly a pretty open book. I’m very comfortable being myself and I don’t feel the need to hide any part of who I am. The things I enjoy, the stories from my life, and the experiences I’ve had are things I’m always happy to share.
What do you value most about OGR?
Even with my relatively short time in the profession, I value the relationships I’ve been able to build through OGR. The connections I’ve made through the Future Leaders forum have been incredibly valuable. Some of those people I still keep in touch with after returning home, and they have become a great source of knowledge and support.
The association tries to “follow the Golden Rule.” What other mantra do you try to live by?
I strongly believe that if something is meant for you, it will find its way to you. There are many moments in life where things don’t go the way you expected, or where you face challenges you didn’t anticipate. But I believe those experiences happen for a reason. If something is meant for you, or if there is something you are meant to learn from a situation, it will unfold exactly the way it is supposed to.