This article originally appeared in the Summer 2026 issue of The Independent magazine. OGR members can read full versions of previous magazine editions in the OGR Digital Magazine Archive. 

Leading a grief support group is not about having all the answers or being an experienced group leader. The most important objective is about creating a safe, respectful space where members can share their experiences and memories, feel heard, and find support from others who truly understand loss. Additionally, grief groups can be a meaningful way to extend aftercare and provide ongoing support to individuals and families in your community. Consider opening it up to the whole community, not just grievers you have served in your firm. 

As a leader, your role is to guide the conversation, maintain healthy group conversations, and encourage connection between the members. You are not expected to be a therapist or expert on grief. 

You are providing a support group, not a therapy group. So, it is important to keep in mind that grief group leaders are not expected to and should not diagnose mental health conditions, provide therapy, solve member's problems, give advice, or tell people how they should grieve. If it seems needed, you could encourage the member to seek professional services. 

The Role of the Leader

A group leader's primary responsibilities include two main components. First, create emotional safety for the members through following simple guidelines such as maintaining boundaries and modeling respect. Maintaining boundaries simply means to keep the group focused on supporting one another rather than advice-giving or problem-solving. As the leader, you model respect by demonstrating active listening, empathy, and acceptance. 

Second, manage group conversations so everyone has a chance to be heard. You may need to gently encourage some members to listen more than they speak. Likewise, quieter members may need encouragement to contribute, but they should never be forced. Finally, remember that active listening is also a form of participation. 

Core Facilitation Skills

Active Listening - this means giving full attention to the speaker

• Maintain appropriate eye contact. 
• Use open body language. 
• Avoid interrupting. 
• Reflect back what you hear. 

Example:

Participant: "I still can't believe they're gone."

Facilitator: "It sounds like the loss still feels very unreal."

Using Open-Ended Questions - these questions encourage sharing: 

• "What has this week been like for you?"
• "What memories come to mind today?"
• "What support has been helpful?"

Avoid questions that can be answered with a yes or no. 

Reflecting Feelings - this helps participants feel understood.

• "That sounds incredibly painful."
• "You're carrying a lot right now."
• "It sounds like you're feeling both sadness and relief."

Avoid statements that minimize feelings. 

Tolerating Silence - Silence is often productive in grief groups. Do not rush to fill every pause. People may need time to: think, feel, gather courage to speak. A couple moments of silence can be healing. 

Structuring a Support Group Meeting

A well-structured grief support meeting helps members feel safe, supported, and prepared for the conversation ahead. Most meetings will last between 60 and 90 minutes. 

Opening: 10 - 15 minutes

During this time, the leader welcomes members, reviews confidently and respectful communication, and reminds everyone of the purpose of the group. A simple check-in question can help members transition into the discussion and connect with one another. 

Questions such as "How are you arriving today?" or "What has been on your mind this week?" can encourage sharing without creating pressure.

Main Discussion: 45-60 minutes

This time provides members with an opportunity to share their experiences, thoughts, and feelings related to grief. The leader's role during this time is to guide the conversation and create space for all voices to be heard. Rather than directing the discussion too heavily, leaders should listen actively, reflect emotions, and ask open-ended questions. Members often benefit from hearing that others have had similar experiences, so encouraging connection and mutual support can be especially valuable. 

Closing: 10 - 15 minutes

Because grief discussions can bring up strong emotions, ending the meeting should focus on closure. Ideally it helps participants leave feeling grounded and supporting. You may invite members to reflect on something meaningful they gained from the discussion, share a coping strategy to use in the week to come, or read a meditation. At the closing, thank members for their willingness to share and remind them of the next meeting date. A consistent closing routine helps create a sense of stability and containment, which is especially important when discussing difficult and emotional experiences. 

Using Resources to Support Group Discussions

Many grief group leaders find it helpful to incorporate resources and activities that encourage reflection, discussion, and connection. Thought-provoking quotes, guided exercises, visual models of grief, breathing activities, and journaling prompts can all help participants explore their experiences in a meaningful way. 

Resources can also provide structure for meetings and help leaders introduce topics that may otherwise feel difficult to discuss. Some participants respond well to educational materials that explain common grief experiences, while others benefit from opportunities to reflect on memories, identify sources of support, or share positive moments from their week. 

The Grief App can serve as one of many resources available to grief group leaders. Features such as the Quote of the Day, Grief Wave, Give Me a Break activities, and Good Moments album can provide discussion prompts, reflection opportunities, and simple exercises that encourage meaningful participation without requiring extensive preparation. 

The goal is not to fill every minute with activities, but to provide gentle prompts that help participants engage with their grief and connect with one another. 

Supporting Participants Between Meetings

A grief support group may only meet once or twice a month, but grief continues every day. Encouraging participants to practice self-reflection and self-care between meetings can help them continue processing their experiences and applying what they have learned in the group. 

Many leaders recommend resources such as books, journals, meditation exercises, educational materials, support apps, or other tools that participants can access on their own time. These resources can provide comfort, encouragement, and practical coping strategies when participants are facing difficult moments outside of the group setting. 

The Grief App is on example of a resource participants can use between meetings. It offers tools for reflection, emotional processing, and coping that may help individuals navigate difficult moments while reinforcing concepts discussed within the group. For some participants, having access to supportive resources between meetings can provide an additional sense of connection and continuity throughout their grief journey. 

No single resource works for everyone. The most effective approach is often to offer a variety of options and encourage participants to use the tools and practices that best support their individual needs. 

This article was contributed by OGR Supply Partner, The Grief App. To learn more, visit www.thegriefapp.com